Sorry, but I think your Iron Law is actually an example of Berkson's Paradox. You see a negative relationship between internet charm and real charm only because you don't notice the large group of people who have neither.
So there's this lake not too far away, and it is the last really hot day of the summer, and I decide to go swimming, haven't gone there in years, and the western pelicans already starting to flock, and I check my phone while driving down a country lane, and find this fantastic essay, and suppose I had crashed while reading it, the real world in the form of a tree just smashing me out of the internet? Would have been perfect, no? Seriously, nice job. Keep up the good work.
Spot on. Although some of these types are also good at surface level socializing. Where it gets tricky is in separating an outsized personal brand from a private self, where one cannot remain outsized and be in relationship with anyone else who is normal sized.
I think you're on to something. We have placed so much emphasis on building a personal brand--and not letting that brand get cancelled--that we have become something more akin to a consumer product, with all of the marketing (and marketeering) that entails.
We're not people, we're not even robots. We're a damn six pack of beer.
The only observation I would add is that so much of what the Internet has wrought has been by devious and persistent design. Jaron Lanier — the Yoda of the internet, or the Lorax maybe — bemoaned it all a while back to no avail. Shoshona Zuboff also Cassandra’d away. The A24 reference is spot on for your argument. But it is a refuge for those experiencing a certain emptiness of soul: Hikikomori is the Japanese thing. You should read The Ginger Man by JP Donleavy.
Agree, I’m in high school and there’s nothing I find more off-putting than my friends using words they obviously JUST learned from some stupid Tiktok trend. The whole “demure” “mindful” trend comes to mind. Lasted for about two weeks, but for those two weeks you couldn’t escape it, online or in person.
To be fair to Sam Kriss, he sees this too. Even wrote a whole essay recently about how the internet is an empty doom-laden phobivorous hellhole. Cultivates an attitude of mild hostility towards his audience, begs people not to become paying subscribers, writes about how much better it is to publish in old media, etc. It’s all a bit playful for the subject matter though: I preferred your way of putting it: properly sonorous.
I remember talking to a friend, about 15 years ago — she’s an illustrator, very physical-media, messy hair, red wine and roll-ups, fingertips smudged with 6B pencil dust type person — and she said, smiling ironically because it seemed preposterous even then, “What if the internet turned out to have been… just a fad?” And it did seem preposterous, but it also seemed just about possible enough to entertain the idea, and how we basked in it. I still wonder sometimes.
Otaku is the Japanese shut-in word, I think.
If you like stories with plot and stakes that don’t happen online hardly at all, try some of mine:
The Japanese shut-in word is "hikikomori". "Otaku" is related, more of an obsessive-fan of a culture type; a person can be both, but doesn't have to be.
I listened to the audiobook of 1984 recently, and in many ways that felt more like an internet novel than the ones mentioned here, in the sense that it showed the human cost of self-policing and spending a lot of time in dark rooms watching and being watched. But it’s exactly as you said — the difference is the stakes, and the stakes in 1984 are so much higher. A good internet novel can absolutely be written, I think, it just needs to be more imaginative than “person is online and thinks about being online and is miserable”.
Uh, which A24 movie are you talking about? I… do not think that’s even a semi-accurate description of their output. And I agree broadly with the rest of your article.
That is… completely inaccurate and honestly makes me seriously question the rest of your thinking. A24 is the only studio reliably producing interesting films these days. Are you a capeshit fan or something?
Sorry, but I think your Iron Law is actually an example of Berkson's Paradox. You see a negative relationship between internet charm and real charm only because you don't notice the large group of people who have neither.
So there's this lake not too far away, and it is the last really hot day of the summer, and I decide to go swimming, haven't gone there in years, and the western pelicans already starting to flock, and I check my phone while driving down a country lane, and find this fantastic essay, and suppose I had crashed while reading it, the real world in the form of a tree just smashing me out of the internet? Would have been perfect, no? Seriously, nice job. Keep up the good work.
Fake Accounts was awful, mad I spent money on it.
Spot on. Although some of these types are also good at surface level socializing. Where it gets tricky is in separating an outsized personal brand from a private self, where one cannot remain outsized and be in relationship with anyone else who is normal sized.
I think you're on to something. We have placed so much emphasis on building a personal brand--and not letting that brand get cancelled--that we have become something more akin to a consumer product, with all of the marketing (and marketeering) that entails.
We're not people, we're not even robots. We're a damn six pack of beer.
I really liked this
Thank you, Ross! I have been following your work from afar for years, and I really like everything you're doing with Substack.
Thank you Aaron, I've been enjoying your stuff too. You might like my next novel! It's about human beings and not the internet, haha.
Sounds good send me a copy
The only observation I would add is that so much of what the Internet has wrought has been by devious and persistent design. Jaron Lanier — the Yoda of the internet, or the Lorax maybe — bemoaned it all a while back to no avail. Shoshona Zuboff also Cassandra’d away. The A24 reference is spot on for your argument. But it is a refuge for those experiencing a certain emptiness of soul: Hikikomori is the Japanese thing. You should read The Ginger Man by JP Donleavy.
Agree, I’m in high school and there’s nothing I find more off-putting than my friends using words they obviously JUST learned from some stupid Tiktok trend. The whole “demure” “mindful” trend comes to mind. Lasted for about two weeks, but for those two weeks you couldn’t escape it, online or in person.
Yes, yes: a thousand times yes.
To be fair to Sam Kriss, he sees this too. Even wrote a whole essay recently about how the internet is an empty doom-laden phobivorous hellhole. Cultivates an attitude of mild hostility towards his audience, begs people not to become paying subscribers, writes about how much better it is to publish in old media, etc. It’s all a bit playful for the subject matter though: I preferred your way of putting it: properly sonorous.
I remember talking to a friend, about 15 years ago — she’s an illustrator, very physical-media, messy hair, red wine and roll-ups, fingertips smudged with 6B pencil dust type person — and she said, smiling ironically because it seemed preposterous even then, “What if the internet turned out to have been… just a fad?” And it did seem preposterous, but it also seemed just about possible enough to entertain the idea, and how we basked in it. I still wonder sometimes.
Otaku is the Japanese shut-in word, I think.
If you like stories with plot and stakes that don’t happen online hardly at all, try some of mine:
https://pulpstack.substack.com
The Japanese shut-in word is "hikikomori". "Otaku" is related, more of an obsessive-fan of a culture type; a person can be both, but doesn't have to be.
If I praise this post and help turn it into a viral sensation would that be an ironic disaster? Haha just kidding, enjoyed the article
I listened to the audiobook of 1984 recently, and in many ways that felt more like an internet novel than the ones mentioned here, in the sense that it showed the human cost of self-policing and spending a lot of time in dark rooms watching and being watched. But it’s exactly as you said — the difference is the stakes, and the stakes in 1984 are so much higher. A good internet novel can absolutely be written, I think, it just needs to be more imaginative than “person is online and thinks about being online and is miserable”.
I agree that a good one can be done. And you’re spot on with the last line.
“The better you are online, the worse you are in real life.”
Sadly, that’s true for me.
Uh, which A24 movie are you talking about? I… do not think that’s even a semi-accurate description of their output. And I agree broadly with the rest of your article.
I dont have a specific one in mind, but my feeling is all of them run more on vibes and aesthetic than plot.
That is… completely inaccurate and honestly makes me seriously question the rest of your thinking. A24 is the only studio reliably producing interesting films these days. Are you a capeshit fan or something?